Monthly Archives: June 2012

You’ve Played a Huge Role in my LIFE.

Posted in Family Time, Something A Little Personal by

After I wrote my post on the Dove event I attended, I started thinking about WHO my role models are, who they were in the past, who helped make me the woman I am today. (Dad, you have always been my role model but this post is strictly one for the ladies, LOVE YOU!).

My role models went from this….

… to this very quickly.

Funny how that works – one minute you’re looking up to Belle and Cinderella and the next you want to be Baby Spice. I can’t seem to remember looking up to any woman who wasn’t in the mainstream media – although I did love Phoebe Gilman (my favourite children’s writer), I can’t say that I considered her a role model at that age.

Do you really think about who your role models are when you’re 7 or 10 or even 14? I don’t think we really THINK about who we’re looking up to and quite frankly until last night I hadn’t given it much thought.  I have found a lot of my role models in the characters that I meet in books (i.e Hermione Granger). The funny thing is that I have a lot of real, strong, and wonderful female role models in my life and I’ve been a little blind NOT to see it or acknowledge it.

Mama Helen and Sister Jessica have ALWAYS been my greatest role models. Hardworking, honest, successful, beautiful, and modest women. When you’re growing up it can sometimes be difficult to relate to your own family members, not realizing that they have been through the same things. Finally at the age of twenty-three, I see what amazing role models they are and always have been.

My aunts, my older cousins, my eighth grade english teacher, my best friends, writers that I’ve met this year (Jeanne Bannon and Romi Moondi), the bloggers that I follow, writers that I may never meet (J.K Rowling) – they have all been my role models. I have looked up to them my entire life and I haven’t even thanked them for being AWESOME! So, Ladies, thank you for being awesome. Thank you for being women worth looking up to. All of you are strong role models and you should be famous. Seriously.

–
Love Always
Vanessa Xo

Women, Self-Esteem, and Dove

Posted in GTA, Just for Fun, Something A Little Personal by

Yesterday I attended Dove’s Women Who Should be Famous event.

I went with the lovely Lina Franci, thanks to an invite from Amanda DiPasquale (Not A Model Blog) and finally got to meet her! It was a great event for young women to be exposed to different kinds of role models and women who should be famous. From mountain climber and scientist Arlene Blum to musical ambassador, educator, and artist Toni Blackman – it was amazing to see how far determined women can really go.

Although it would have been nice to hear from Mandy Moore herself, about her self-esteem issues or how she got to where she is today, I’m glad most of the focus was on the four women who would make great role models for any young girl out there. I found it interesting that body image was almost a secondary topic, since I still struggle with feeling comfortable in my own body but maybe it’s better that the focus was on achieving your goals rather than body image. I also think that an event like this would be much more effective if it were done in grade 8 and grade 9 classes as some kind of a workshop for women, but I’m still thankful that I got something out of it.

My favourite line of the event came from Toni Blackman – although I’m paraphrasing a little, it went something like this,

“Your dreams will be with you your entire life. You can either look at them, chase them, or live them.”

Truthfully, I find that everyday I am chasing my dreams, working hard to make them a reality, working hard so that one day I can LIVE them. This event made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, as well as determined and confident - I can do anything and so can you.

–
Love Always
Vanessa Xo

 

P.s. In hopes to do some personal marketing, I wonder if you’d like to check out my book –  My Pen, My Voice. I published most of my diary (filled with poetry and prose) from ages 12-21 in hopes that I could help young women feel better about themselves. I struggled and still struggle with body image and self-esteem, so I write about it. I hope you can pass it on to a young lady in your life who needs someone to relate to.

LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION!

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I’ve always heard that actions speak louder than words but because my life has always revolved around the written word, I’ve neglected the importance of action. Words are important yes, they are the promises in which actions are based. You can tell someone you love them, but to show them is another thing altogether isn’t it.

This weekend I got a glimpse into a world where actions do not necessarily match up with words – spoken or written. When you love someone, when you appreciate them, you should tell them and then you should show them. Thank them, listen to them – don’t just bark back at them. Do things for them and pay attention to the wonderful things they do for you. Compromise. Don’t make promises that you can’t keep. Fight for something you believe in (fight for your soulmate – Crazy, Stupid, Love reference). And did I mention listen?

If I could tell my 14-year-old self one thing it would be to appreciate everything and every single good person that walks into my life. Don’t just write about how much you love them, tell them, show them. Oh, and don’t be a hypocrite about things. If you say something, do it. If you tell someone you love them, don’t treat them like shit. Simple.

Words outline your being but actions illuminate your character.

–
Love Always 
Vanessa Xo

Life’s too Short to be Prudish

Posted in Family Time, Just for Fun by

I was with the bf’s family last night and I learnt a very valuable life lesson:

Life is too short to be prudish.

Life is too short to edit your thoughts, feelings, or the words that come out of your mouth. You should be able to say what you’re feeling. You should never feel like your voice or your opinion doesn’t matter.

My cousin told me yesterday that she loves me now that I talk – that I say things without making them PG first. That I say what’s on my mind no matter how vulgar or unladylike. She says it makes our conversations a lot more interesting, and funny! Hear that family, I AM funny! :p

Okay so stating your feelings without having a filter at all times may get you into trouble, may get you into some embarrassing moments, but those moments create memories. Memories that you can look back on and say, Hey at least I was honest.  You may even feel a little lighter once you start speaking your mind, once you say a dirty word, or a racy comment. It’s so much easier to live happily when you decide to be yourself.

‘Say what you need to say.’

–
Love Always 
Vanessa Xo

making ideas HAPPEN > not doing ANYTHING

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I’ve been reading Beautiful Ruins by Jess Walter and I love it.

“Imagine being this artist, creating masterpieces up here…that no one will ever see. I think it’s kind of sad.”

That’s one of my favourite quotes so far. Many people go through their lives doing things that they love, being creative. Making music, writing stories, painting, gardening, making wonderful food, and yet they don’t share their masterpieces with anyone. If you love something and you put your heart and soul into it, I think it should be shared. If you have ideas, they should be turned into something.

All that music, artwork, CREATIVITY stored in your closet isn’t doing the world a favour.

Make your ideas happen today.

Don’t be afraid to share them either.

–
Love Always 
Vanessa Xo

Yes. No. Maybe. So?

Posted in Just for Fun, Something A Little Personal by

I am probably the most indecisive person out there. I can never make up my mind about things as simple as what to order at a restaurant, to more complex things like which steps I should be taking to get to my dream job. When confronted with a choice or an option  I think, I think some more, I analyze, over-analyze, and end up not know what the eff I want to do. It gives me a headache and it certainly wastes A LOT of time. It also tends to annoy the crap out of people.

Bf: “What do you want to have for dinner? Steak and seafood or Italian?”

Me: “I don’t know, babe. What do you want to eat?”

Bf: “I asked you first, can you please just decide?”

Me: “Hmm well, I had fish on Wednesday and pasta on Tuesday….I’m still full from lunch but if we just get our meals and don’t order a starter I should be fi–”

Bf: “Vanessa, why do you make things so complicated? Do you want pasta or fish? What do you feel like having?”

See, a little annoying and the bf has that conversation with me almost every single Saturday! If I go through all that to decide what I want for dinner could you imagine what my brain goes through to make real-life decisions? Like which jobs to apply for, if I should continue school, etc. It’s exhausting.

I think I may have to try this whole coin-flipping idea. It would certainly save me time and a headache. I think my indecision has a lot to do with fear of regret. I don’t want to make a decision that I will regret, I also don’t want to inconvenience anyone else with a decision that I make.

Maybe if I figure out which choice I’m hoping for when I flip that coin, I won’t regret my decision.

Maybe a little faith is all I need.

Maybe I should just stop saying maybe and do what I want.

–
Love Always
Vanessa Xo

Book Art

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I found this picture on Pinterest yesterday and had to look up the artist. His name is Guy Laramee and his artwork is absolutely amazing. Check out his site here.

“I still wish my art to do is this: to project us into this thick ‘cloud of unknowing.’”

That is probably my favourite part of his artistic statement. I hope that one day my writing will be able to do something along those lines. Thrust people into a world of unknowing – let a thick fog have them forget what they know, what they are used to, so that they can fully emerge themselves into a world I create. Into a world that they can relate to and yet one that will teach them something about themselves. That’s what all great writing should do isn’t it?

Follow your dreams today – or at least get on the path that will lead you there.

–
Love Always 
Vanessa Xo

So, What’s New?

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Is it sad that I feel embarrassed when people ask me what I’m doing now? I’m talking about people I haven’t seen in years asking me about school, and work, and plans for the future. Not that people make me feel like I should be embarrassed, I just start thinking about the choices I’ve made and wonder if they were the right ones. I wonder if I’ve been taking the right courses, if I’ve chosen the right career, etc etc.

Then I wonder if I should still be working at the pizza place or if I’ll ever leave there. I wonder a lot of things, all because of the question “So, Vanessa, what have you been up to?”

Then after all the wondering I remember something Papa told me…

That Papa Vince is one smart cookie and he always makes me feel better about the choices I’ve made. I want to be a writer and the choices I’ve made are stepping-stones to get there. I’m not moving backwards or forwards, I’m just doing what I feel is best for me in every single moment – and that’s all I can do.

So don’t beat yourself up too much. Don’t ever go back on your dreams. If you’re working towards your dreams then you should never have regrets. Sure, it may have been easier for me to become a teacher or at least a bit more practical but is that what I’ve dreamt about since I was twelve? No.

Embrace your choices and keep working hard to get where you want to be.

There’s a reason why hardworking people appear lucky.

Good things happen in the pursuit of happiness.

Good things happen when you work hard for what you want.

–
Love Always
Vanessa Xo 

…And that’s OKAY

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I found this picture on Pinterest and I love it because it’s true. I like to think that I got out of my whole I’m a misunderstood outsider/wallflower who likes to be left alone thing but you can’t change who you are. You can always be the best you, but in order to do so, you have to accept who you are. I’m an introvert and that’s okay. I like people, I don’t mind being in crowds, I like to talk (and sometimes I talk a lot), but sometimes I just like to be by myself. I like the quiet.

If I can be completely honest I like to not talk to people and to be left alone on Friday nights and Sundays. I know, the fact that I plan when I don’t like to talk to people takes O.C.D to a whole new level. BUT it’s not even that I PLAN it, it kind of works out that way. Fridays I spend the whole day at work, talking to customers and my co-workers so that by the time I get home, I have a headache and my throat is actually sore from talking so much. Sundays are usually the only days that I have to myself! I hibernate in my room and read, or Google things, or do homework, and I usually only come out for food and/or coffee.

On the other hand, I do agree with The Perks of Being a Wallflower when Charlie’s teacher tells him that he needs to participate in life. I didn’t participate much in school and I find it difficult to participate in life when I’m reading a really great book. And yet I truly understand the importance of participating.

Sometimes it’s okay to not want to participate though, to not want to talk to people.

Gosh, I must sound like a total biatch!

I’m not a bitch, I’m an introvert and that’s okay.

–

“So, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we’ll never know most of them. But even if we don’t have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them.” – The Perks of Being a Wallflower

 –
Love Always 
Vanessa Xo

Sing Me to Sleep.

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“I could never stay awake when I was that little, and I wish I could, because my brother and sister talk about those moments sometimes.” – The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I still can’t stay awake late! While in Dominican I went to bed at a reasonable hour and in Vegas the time change really did a number on me, I was in bed no later than 12! I feel like I need to go to bed early in order to wake up early. I like waking up with the sun, feeling motivated, getting a fresh start to my day, and I can’t do that if I’m tired! I hate sleeping in. There are only 24 hours in a day, why would you want to spend the ones with the sun out, sleeping?

The funny thing about the picture above is that I actually DO remember the nights where I got plenty of sleep. I hate them (sometimes). I feel like I missed out on things - I missed out on making memories. I know that I will hear the stories the next day but I bet they would be even better if I was there to witness them. I mean, I’m TWENTY-THREE! This is the prime of my life, what am I doing sleeping most of my time away? I must work on this. I need to get rid of this whole Nonna-needs-a-coffee-and-a-nap vibe I’ve been throwing out. I sometimes feel like I’m Nonna meets Sheldon…

…and that’s got to go! Not that I don’t enjoy a solid eight hours of sleep, I love waking up feeling rejuvenated, but I should stay up and have fun once in a while. And by fun, I mean something as simple as staying up late to finish watching a hockey game or a movie with the bf. Maybe it all goes back to balance. Everything is about balance, isn’t it? You have to balance your time, your friends, your work, your writing, your sleep, your family, your bf. You have to do what you want, what you love, and make time for all of it.

And when it gets too much, when you feel exhausted, get someone to sing you to sleep.

–
Love Always 
Vanessa Xo