You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book… or you take a trip… and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. – Anaïs Nin
During week 2 of my internship I took some time to people-watch on the subway ride downtown– apparently most writers do it so it’s not creepy. In the morning almost everyone is quiet, they stare at their hands or close their eyes. A lot of them have headphones in their ears; I wonder what they’re listening to or if they’re listening to anything at all. I rarely listen to music: my headphones help create a bubble my personal space. I’m in my own little world, or so it appears to everyone else, meanwhile I’m eavesdropping on their conversations. Most mornings you’ll see people pull out a newspaper or a paperback novel while others pull out a pen and notebook. I saw one guy writing out intense math equations that I couldn’t understand and all I really wanted in that moment was to be inside his head. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?! WHAT DO THOSE NUMBERS MEAN?!
The other day an older woman sat across from me, she had salt-and-pepper hair and wore a long red skirt with brown stockings and brown loafers. She walked with a cane and when she sat down she rested both hands on it. Then she looked off into the distance and smiled. It looked as if she was remembering something, as if she was lost in her memories. That’s when I noticed a faded tattoo of a spider on her hand, in between her index finger and thumb. It was quite large with a black outline and red belly. I wondered how long she’s had it, why she got it, what it means to her. I wondered about the Story it represented. I wish I asked her about it…
As far as my internship went this week, I feel more confident when performing tasks and I’ve also headed home with a huge pile of books *heaven*. I attended and helped out at the Mount Pleasant launch – you may remember my review of the book. It was a great event and even with the crappy weather we had a wonderful turnout. This event was also held at the beautiful Ben McNally Books store, I’m obsessed with that place by the way. I also got to help out with an author lunch held in our offices, which meant putting my hospitality background to good use – cutting up fruit and veggies, setting up the boardroom, running errands, and cleaning up with my fellow intern. Is it odd that I LOVED it? I love being involved in these events!
It would seem that I enjoyed week 2 as much as I enjoyed week 1 and I did. Every day I see something new, I learn something new, I try something new, I see a new face, I walk down a new street. I’m not hibernating anymore, I’m living, breathing, exploring, and I cannot wait for week 3.
—
Love Always
Vanessa Xo
P.S How are you liking the new layout?
. What I love most is how it slows down your thinking, rather, how it makes you more conscious of what you’re thinking. You need to be aware of what you’re going to write next, you need to plan out your next sentence so that you don’t make a huge mistake and have to start all over. With time, I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it, perhaps I’ll start writing on it often.
